Questions, questions, questions

This weekend Terry visited Suzhou (she will tell you about her big action there!) and I visited Shanghai. I wandered around for a couple of days, had the best milkshake (banana based) of my life for lunch at the Burger Bistro and then went back that night for the best burger (The Cuban Habanero) of my life! Had another fabulous Hunan meal at Lost Horizon. Got ripped off for a really bad breakfast at a really great hotel. (yadda, yadda, yadda)

Okay, now on to the main event. On Sunday we caught the subway out to Lake Melien (a one hour ride) and the BMW Masters Golf Tournament at Lake Malaren. First some background. To get the tickets (they were free), all you had to do was register online. Then a personal representative called you back to ask you the same questions they asked online – including “Are you planning on buying a BMW?” Maybe we would have got VIP tickets if we had said yes? Anyway, they delivered the tickets to our apartment so we were set to go.

Question #1 – Why are rich Chinese developers building huge, heavy 18th Century-like French Chateau looking mansions which all look the same in a subdivision? And why do these same developers create massive (10-15 feet high) brown rockish looking “boulders” as the wall around the subdivision? (these two questions pertain to the view as one drives up to the Crowne Plaza resort and to the mostly empty homes on the course.)

Question #2 – Do the Chinese have proof that God is black?

Question #3 – At a golf tournament which handles large numbers of people in the gallery (I don’t know how to estimate numbers, but I would suggest there were likely 5000 there on Sunday), why would there be only one (1) (一 in Chinese) food service tent on the grounds and why would it only be about 25 feet by 25 feet? And why would it be just inside the front gate with the other tents aimed only at selling golf holidays, Ballentine’s (blended) scotch and Stella Artois beer?

Question #3a – Why was there no no place on the course to access water (unless, like I did, you stole two bottles of water from the deserted driving range)?

Question #4 – The national pass time in China is, to the best of our knowledge, clothes shopping. Knowing this, why was there no attempt to capitalize on this by having souvenir clothing – hats, shirts, jackets etc. with the really cool logo on them available? Was it because Hugo Boss and BMW had small shops selling their own branded clothing?

Question #5 – Why, if you are going to have grandma look after the under 5 year old children at the golf course, don’t you just leave them all at home? It is a golf tournament – not a family picnic in the park! That way, the yelling, crying children won’t throw Ross Fisher (granted, he still hit it) off at the top of his back swing. Really, strollers? Do you think the kid got motivated to pick up a golf club when you got home?

Question #6 – I know girls all over the world go to sporting events to meet guys, but are spikes (the 4″ high type, not the golf type) really the appropriate footwear? And don’t you already have a guy?  (Don’t worry about the 8″ – 9″ skirts – clearly you weren’t planning on sit on the grass anyway.)

Come on, my skirt is longer than most!

Question #7 – If you really want the crowd to be quiet when the golfers are hitting the ball, why do you have 15 – 18 year old girls holding the “Quiet” signs – if they aren’t talking to one another, or running back and forth from one side of the green to the other or talking on THEIR cell phone, they’re sleeping while Ian Poulter is putting. I know, I know – they looked cute in their Boss hat and top and Loud Mouth pants, but come on, do your job. And don’t get me (or Peter Hanson or George Coetzee) started on the phones…

Maybe she thinks if she sleeps, people will be quiet – God knows holding up the sign at her feet wasn’t working.

Question #8 – Do people actually recycle lighters?

Isn’t golf an affluent game?

(Ed. note: To be fair, on the way in, there were some lighters in it and people were checking the levels of the fluid in them.)

Question #9 – And finally, why can’t I swing like one of these guys?

(Ed. note – for best viewing, click on the small arrows bottom right and turn on your speakers)


(Ed. note: for more photos of your favourite golfers, check out “Our Photos”)

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