Geoff Writes a Bad Word – I Guess

A little story for you to shake your head at and some leftover photos.

Our good friend Tim from South Carolina turned us on to a guitarist named Joe Bonamassa awhile ago. In my limited knowledge about music talent i.e. I have none, he is fantastic. I bought his Live album and play it – a lot and I mean a lot. For example, today I have been working on a 1500 piece jigsaw puzzle and I put it on. When I came to the cut India/Mountain Time I put it on repeat and played it 5 or 6 times – and I could likely do that with every cut. He is a bluesy, Allman Brothers type of guy. Terry says he reminds her of the late, great Jeff Healey.

Anyway, knowing how Paul loves the guitar, I mentioned him to Ingrid while Paul was away. When listening today, I thought why not send him one of the cuts (Ed. note:I know I know but if he buys the album because of being introduced to it by me, that’s a good thing. Right?) So I write a nice email, congratulating him on his recent golf success and then detailing why I have attached the music and hit send. Right away I get a message saying “This message may contain inappropriate content or terminology”. Hmm, I think Big Brother IS watching. So I delete the music, upload it to DropBox and go back to the message, add a line about DropBox and click send. “This message may contain inappropriate content or terminology”.

Hmm, so it was’t the music. I start deleting sentences and trying to send. “This message may contain inappropriate content or terminology”. Finally, it allows me to send it. (Ed.note: I sent all 9 drafts to myself – don’t worry about Paul’s inbox being full.)

Here is what I wrote:
Hi Paul. I hear you are an 8! Congratulations. Do you remember a number of years ago one of the shoe manufacturers had a monogramming program for the heels of their shoes? I had an 8 put on mine and I got there – so I know how you feel. It is hard work, but oh so satisfying.

I mentioned to Ingrid the name Joe Bonamassa. I have been sitting here all afternoon doing a 1500 piece jigsaw – can’t do much else. I put his album on and just love it. When I got to this cut, I put in on Repeat – I think I am up to five or six plays. I listen to it and wish I had 1/10th of his talent to play – I know nothing about guitar, but I know it is pretty damn good. I want to come over to your house next summer, put it on your system and crank the sucker right up – you do have sound proofing don’t you? 

I hope you enjoy “India/Mountain Time” (10:14)

Was the offending word Bonamassa? Was it crank? Was it sucker? I have no idea since I had to delete everything after “oh so satisfying”.

I finally wrote a short message, attached the cut and away it went. I don’t know which is worse – the fact that somehow, built into the email I use (Ed. note: hmm – it is the standard Chinese email program, but on Safari) is a cutthroat censor, or the fact that it took me so long to figure it out.
Anyway if anybody else wants to listen to this, here is 10:14 of Joe Bonamassa (Ed. note: It may take awhile to load. If you want, start it, continue reading and see what happens. Sorry)

Now the leftover pictorials.

When they got me to the first hospital, the clerk took my passport and entered my family name into the system as Jeofe. (Ed. note: Where that came from I’ll never know – let’s combine George and Geoff but throw in a J?) It will be that way forever. They CANNOT change it in the system. Thus, every time they print something off, it has to be manually changed by showing them my passport again and then it’s given an official stamp. Also, you know those racks and racks of personal files you see in Dr.s’ offices? They don’t exist here. You have your file and you take it in every time you go to the hospital or doctor. This includes any x-rays, scans etc. If you don’t take it, no service. Plus most of the stuff is written by hand and not in any computer anywhere. Better not lose it.

In China's medical system my family name will be Jeofe - FOREVER.

In China’s medical system my family name will be Jeofe – FOREVER.

We all know that smoking in a hospital is a no no, don’t we? Well, it is – and not just in Canada but at Jiaxing #1 Hospital as well. It says so on the multitude of signs all over the place. Apparently, if you are Chinese, though, you can smoke in the elevator (yes, we saw it), in the halls (yes, we saw it), and in the stairwells.
If I don't turn around, I can say I didn't see the sign.

If I don’t turn around, I can say I didn’t see the sign.

Speaking of signs:

What does this actually mean, do you think?

What does this actually mean, do you think?

Just remember, this is The Official Notice Fence!

Just remember, this is The Official Notice Fence!

Hearkening back to the No Smoking signs,

You can just use an old can...

Since the hospital won’t supply ashtrays, damn them, you can just use an old can…

...or you can take a garbage can fro a patient room and throw a little water in the bottom.

…or you can take a garbage can from a patient’s room and throw a little water in the bottom. At least they scrunched up the plastic bag insert first.

Terry and I are in our Sports Meeting Day shirts as I wait to be sprung. The grade 10 class bought these for the event. Very nice. They have your name on the back. Mine says Mr. Watt - which is an improvement over the first one that read Ms Watt and Terry already had hers.

Terry and I are in our Sports Meeting Day shirts as I wait to be sprung. The grade 10 class bought these for the event. Very nice. They have your name on the back. Mine says Mr. Watt – which is an improvement over the first one that read Ms Watt and Terry already had hers. (Ed. note: Since this photo, I am down 4.2 kg so no peanut gallery comments)

As an aside, if I do have to go back into the hospital, I am going to demand that I have a room on the 19th floor. The rooms are the same size as the one I was in – but they have only one bed – which is 1 1/2 times bigger than the normal ones. Each room has mahogany cupboards and closets, a microwave, a bar fridge, and a tv. There are 2 comfortable arm chairs in each room. The nurses on the floor have elegant pink uniforms. There is a sense of quiet and rest. No yelling – kind of like a real hospital.

They say that if you build a better mousetrap, the world will beat a path to your door. Well, Terry has written about her little visitors so she went out and got this “little” puppy. Surprisingly, she never caught one. Personally, I think it is because even if the door slammed shut behind them, they could wiggle out through the spaces. Maybe this is actually for, oh I don’t know, maybe a raccoon.

A better mousetrap?

A better mousetrap?

The Shoe Blog

As you know I am unable to get out and about, so I have to depend on others to supply me with Shoe Blog photos. For this post, Terry came through. Oh boy, did she come through. This was at Starbucks on Sunday afternoon when the temperature was only about 10º – and no, when she came through the door she didn’t have a coat on. Dani’s reaction was “She’s wearing a phone cover!” Terry said “She must be freezing” I think, if I had been there it would have been “I wonder what she is going to order?”

Gentlemen - Be sure to check out the SHOES, as this is, after all,  The SHOE Blog!

Gentlemen – Be sure to check out the SHOES, as this is, after all, The SHOE Blog! And how about the hearts on those runners and the coloured striped socks. Adorable. In fashion, this is the typical difference between women and … the other sex in Jiaxing.

9 thoughts on “Geoff Writes a Bad Word – I Guess

  1. Peter

    Got to be the “damn”! The censors will get you for that every time. Use “darn” next time and save yourself the agony. (I write this while listening to a whining guitar in the background. Could it be…….?

    Reply
  2. kenrhaycock

    Jeez. There are about a dozen words in there, when taken together in an automated system, would get you thrown in jail. An 8? Satisfying? Cut? Playing? Crank? Sucker? Wow. Anyway bought an album of him playing at the Royal Albert. Thanks for the tip!

    Reply
  3. Ingrid

    I agree, this would really benefit by being played really loud! I also think that I could show you how to play one of my air guitars. I always have a few hanging around. Just a couple of chords, and you’d be playing like Joe Bonamassa! The picking is a little bit tricky though. Thanks for the clip!

    Reply
    1. tdwatt23 Post author

      I don’t think I could ever play an air guitar – and hey, I have tried! I once thought I had the live version of Comfortably Numb down pat, but alas, I was wrong.

      Reply
  4. Marion Downing

    Hi Geoff and Terry. I have been following your progress Geoff, good to know you respect your limitations.You will do just fine, for sure. I am really sorry to hear of your heart condition, very scary for both of you. Sounds like great medical attention and a good hospital. My thoughts have been with you both. Cheers, Marion.

    Reply

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