The Philippines Adventure Leaves Boracay

Well here in are in Puerta Princesa edging ever more closer to the end of our marathon holiday – and let me tell you it seems like a marathon. We have had a couple of interesting adventures since last we talked. We finally got down to Puka Beach, the resort’s guests only beach. It was very different from White Beach. Very quiet, very steep drop off, very strong waves.

The colour of the water was amazing.

The colour of the water was amazing.

Very few people

Very few people but …

if you come from China to lay on the beach, make sure you cover up well - and we don't mean with sunscreen.

if you come from China to lay on the beach, make sure you cover up well – and we don’t mean with sunscreen.

20 seconds of pounding surf – but very few people.

It was almost impossible to stand up in the surf – and it would have been impossible to drown. You could get maybe 20 feet out – up to my chest – and the waves would just carry you back to shore. A lot of fun playing in the water. It started to rain about 2:00 so we went back to the room for a nap.

That evening we planned to go to D’Talipapa, (Ed. note: Choose food, haggle, have someone else cook.) but it was still pouring rain. Instead, we went to Aria – one of the best restaurants in Boracay and had two fabulous pizzas on the beach under umbrellas. It was quite neat – almost romantic except for the two little Taiwanese boys (ages 4 and 3) who thought it would be cool to throw a shovel of sand all over their table and ours. Luckily the pizza hadn’t arrived so all that happened was some landed in my wine glass. None got into Terry’s wine glass as she didn’t have one. What?! you say. Why not? you demand. Well let me explain.

Terry’s problem is that generally speaking she only drinks white wine, as you know. She has had very little success finding any decent white here in the Philippines. I figure, if we order the expensive stuff, I’m sure it will be good. It is $80 a bottle, but she is worth it. Terry says to the server “If I don’t like it, we’ll send it back”. He says “OK”. Guess what – she didn’t like it. It wasn’t off, she just thought that it caught at the back of her throat and she didn’t like it. Guess what. They took it back – no problem. Now I don’t know about experiences you have had in restaurants, but mine has been that it is hard enough to convince people to take back wine that is off  – never even tried sending it back because I didn’t like it.

I did make it up to them though. After flinging the sand, the little guys’ father had them come over and apologize. I gave them each a Canada pin and the server pinned them on for them. He looked at me so I gave him one too. His partner came over to the table looking forlorn, so he got one. Then the bartender, then 7 or 8 more servers, then our server came by and said that his two captains would like some too. As we are leaving we get a constant stream of “Thank you Mam Terry” “Thank you Sir Geoff” The other diners must have thought we were someone special – not just someone old.

Saturday morning, while I waited for Terry to come down for another scintillating breakfast buffet (Ed. note: We have come to the conclusion that any place which says “includes breakfast” means “includes minimally stocked breakfast buffet or minimally tasty breakfast buffet”), I handed out some awards to my fellow diners:

Title winners:

1. Winner of the “I can put my bare feet on the chair opposite to me in the dining room and wait for my wife to bring me my breakfast” title – The man across from me

2. Winner of the “I can yell louder than you” title – The woman with the loud, everyone else stop and look at us in an argument with a man who failed to yell loud enough voice

3. Winner of the “We can take more food from the buffet than anyone else here this morning and leave a lot of it on our plates” title – the 5 members of a family  (repeat winners from yesterday)

4. Winner of the “The coffee urn is 4 feet away from the table and so the Filipino busboy must get it for us” title – the 3 male and 3 female individuals who couldn’t serve themselves from the SELF-SERVE BUFFET

5. Winner of the “There is no more room on the plate for food and we still ate it all!” title – the 4 swarthy, husky fit twenty-somethings who must send shivers up a buffet owner’s back when they walk in.

6. Winner of the “Only pineapple today in the fruit section of the breakfast buffet” title – the Alta Vista resort.

(Ed. note: If I was writing in a less politically correct region i.e. no Terry to edit, I would have included the heritage of all of the winners, but that is offensive, I am told. However, I will say that the winners may have come from some of the following areas: the former USSR, Germany, India or Pakistan, China, some eastern European country, Andorra, or Lichtenstein)

Before we leave Boracay and move on to Palawan, a contest. First person to name all four songs correctly wins a prize purchased somewhere on our travels. Good luck!

Well, that’s just not going to work. I have put together a short video entitled “The Street of Boracay” which actually shows the two streets of Boracay – the driving street and the walking “street”. Unfortunately, after 20 minutes of trying to upload it here in Dos Palmas, only 1% has been completed. You do the math. As hard as this is to believe, I may have to wait until I get back to China to have a chance to spend less than a half-life getting it online. I will let you know. However, the contest still holds. First person to name the four songs wins big!


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