(Ed. note: For those of you who have been undergoing Express withdrawal, fear not. In the next short period of time you will be saying, “Not another #$%^&*g one”)
In this issue:
- Spread those legs and Not in my seat you don’t
- Who makes these?
- Your friendly neighbourhood dry cleaner
- Call the cops
- The Education Fair comes to town
- You’re Going Out in THAT? Really?
- Don’t Bother Me – I’m Sleeping
- Terry’s finished
Spread Those Legs and Not in My Seat You Don’t
I was recently reading one of my favourite intellectual journals (ie. FaceBook) and read that men in public places, particularly subways and buses tend to spread their legs to maximise their size and acquire more self space. I am now particularly careful not to do this unless I am one of an “all men” row on the Shanghai metro. Clearly these guys don’t read FaceBook.
Now, just after I took the photo above we stopped and an elderly lady got on through the door on the right as you look at the photo. Not one of the younger people moved – so I, an elderly foreigner gave up his seat.
The big laugh is when she got off, the young guy standing on the right took my seat!
Who Makes These?
Saw this on a guy when I got off the train in Jiaxing one day.
Your Friendly Neighbourhood Drycleaner
Ok, so I was going to tell you how I lost my VIP card ( a prepaid card that they then deduct from when you get something done) and how the nice dry-cleaning lady knew my name – Geoffu, went to her handwritten book of who had bought them, found me, made up a new one for me with the balance showing and then slipped it into a book so I couldn’t lose it again, but I’m not. Instead, I will tell you that as she is making up my card she tells me I (Geoffu) live in Chun Xiao Yuan and in building 1 and she lives in building 3 and I say I live in apartment 906 and she says she lives in 806 and then about 5 o’clock there is a knock at the door and Terry opens it and there is the drycleaner with a friend and she indicates that she wants to show the friend the quality of Terry’s slacks that I picked up that day(ed note–really, Geoff? How did you know that?) – a simple ruse to get into our apartment – so that she can run into each room and check it out, after, of course taking off her shoes and putting on our obligatory slippers while her friend looks on somewhere between disgust and disbelief and meanwhile Terry has no idea what is going on since she doesn’t know about my earlier chat with the drycleaner. TIC
Call The Cops
I was coming back from the office the other day and came across this major motor vehicle accident. It had clearly occurred many minutes before because the parties involved were all out of the cars with doors left open, standing around, on their cell phones and waiting for the police to come. There were three cars lined up waiting to get passed these two.
The Education Fair Comes to Town
I will try and shorten this for you so follow along closely. In the first couple of years that the BC program was been in existence the Chinese administration has gone out to the middle schools to try and recruit students. Last year Terry put some pressure on them to let her come so that she could sell the program, but that did not occur. This year she was determined to go and to take kids to help sell it. They must have known. All of sudden there would be no going out to the schools, rather, all schools who were trying to recruit would attend a one day Education Fair (Ed. note: Held in the lobby of the Jiaxing Daily newspaper building – who knows why – neutral ground?[ed note: hardly neutral, it’s in a government enclave]) where they could talk to all the interested parties (Ed. note: And, coincidentally, collect 10000 rm. per table – $2000 or $40 000 for the 20 tables there). The school could, if they wanted, hold an additional one the following week for those parents who wanted to attend on a Saturday which they did. Terry asked if they were required to attend and was told, not the Education Fair, only the following week’s “Open House”. Great. We planned a weekend in Shanghai. The morning before, Terry was told that she and Becky would have to attend and give a half hour presentation. I had to go because we would then go from there to the train station. Oh Joy. When we arrive, Terry is informed that our presentation would be given first – right after lunch! After some gentle persuasion – mostly by Becky, the incumbent VP and soon to be P- they agreed that Terry and Becky could do theirs at 11:20. It was excellent, but it did cut into my drinking time at The Bell Bar later in the afternoon.
You’re Going Out In THAT? Really?
I am surmising that although this young man had an adoring girlfriend, he still lives at home since only a mother would have let him go out in public dress like this. His t-shirt was also a black and white pattern. (Terry: C’mon, he’s hip!)
Don’t Wake Me, I’m Sleeping
Went to my favourite stall the market to get vegetables and was looking all around for the vendor. The woman at the next stall came over and pointed at the bundle. I called and caLLED and CALLED before I woke the poor woman up out of a dead sleep.
Of all the puzzles we did this winter, this was the one which gave Terry the most satisfaction, frustration and anger. (Ed. note: I know the parallel structure is incorrect. Sue me.) With the exception of one piece, she did it entirely on her own. The body was not really difficult, but it was challenging. The black background, however, was another story. Any changes in colour were very minor and difficult to see in the evening light. Well done, though Beautiful! (Ed. note: Love those old masters! How old am I, anyway? Jigsaw puzzles, gee wilikers.)
The Shoe Blog
These are actually kind of a good idea. Now, given the predominance of stilettos in Shanghai, I don’t know if they will be a big seller, but on the other hand, once those heels get to work maybe they need a rest.